Saturday, March 16, 2013
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Posted March 16 2013 - 10:21 AM
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Your butler will quit, today, in a tiff. Since you can only view gif and jpeg, though, it will be quite some time before you realize that.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Angst day, today.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Beware of galoots, today.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Fortune will smile upon you today. Actually, it's more of a smirk.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will find a biography of some famous dead person, at a garage sale, and buy it on a whim. It will change your life. You will also soon take up bricklaying, as a hobby.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Your neighbor thinks his dog is so smart, it's starting to bug you. The thing to do is cover a book with a book cover that says "Quantum Physics for Dogs", and train your dog to lay next to it, along a pad of paper covered with scribbled equations and a chewed-on pencil...
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Try to avoid nibbling on things today. Despite recent developments, you don't actually know your friend that well yet.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Good day to doodle.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will decide to write a letter to the editor. "Who is this 'Al Ninyo' guy," you'll say, "and why don't they just lock him up?"
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will invent a new type of lingerie, and will make millions. The stripes are the key to your success. You will call it "Ze Bra".
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Confucious said "Choose a job you love, and you'll never work a day in your life." Confucious was a Harvard man, you know, with a huge trust fund. He certainly never "worked" a day, himself. I wouldn't take what he said too literally, in your case.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You need to do something about that nervous laugh. Practice an "evil laugh" and use that instead. Then at least, you'll be able to hear everyone else's nervous laughter.
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